oh what a difference a year makes.

thanksgiving and all the joy, reflection and food that come with it are upon us. 

i can't really remember what i did last year for thanksgiving. i was deep in the throws of wedding planning for my nye nuptials, was out of work trying to figure out what to do with my life and quite frankly, i was feeling very lost. 

in a deep dark moment, after a major breakdown over breaking a glass (i never said i was rational) with my head in my hands i sobbed and thought, "i don't know who i am anymore." so dramatic. but it was truly how i felt. i had shed every part of me that i knew. i was surrendering my independence to become part of a new family. from the moment i could drive i never had fewer than one job, most of the time juggling two to three and now i woke with out purpose every morning. i used to feel that people viewed me as strong and independent. suddenly as a bride i was fragile in people's eyes. they looked at me like i may crack at any moment. and they were right. 

wow, i'm really getting emo. let me get to the point. after sobbing and calling my now husband "just to hear his voice," i pulled my shit together. i had a moment of clarity and realized, i can't find myself unless i get lost. 

flash forward a year. thanksgiving is thursday and i woke up this morning and taught to a full class. i will spend the next few days cooking with family and making some money doing it. i have never felt more on the right path or closer to who i am supposed to be and what i'm supposed to be doing. i am truly THANKFUL this year. 

whether you are feeling lost and out of control or everything in your life is sunshine, i encourage you to take pause, take a deep breath, and think of all the beautiful gifts you have in your life. there may be more than you think. 

happy thanksgiving friends. i'm wishing you and yours love and tasty food. and i'll leave you with this tasty apple spice cake. this is the perfect alternative to a holiday pie and will make a stunning addition to any thanksgiving table. 

apple spice cake
serves: 8
prep time: 20 minutes
bake time: 30 minutes
total time: 50 minutes
ingredients: 1.5 cup all purpose flour. .5 tsp baking soda. .5 tsp salt. .5 tbs cinnamon. .25 tsp nutmeg. 1 honey crisp apple (gala, pink ladies will also work), thinly slice just enough to cover the bottom of a 9 inch pan (about 25-28 slices) and cube the rest. .66 cup vegetable oil. 1 cup sugar. 2 large eggs. .5 tsp vanilla. 9 inch baking pan. 1 tbs soft butter + 1 extra tbs flour for baking pan. salted caramel for drizzle (optional). vanilla ice cream (optional). 

start by preheating your oven to 350 degrees f. 

sift he flour, baking powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon together into a medium bowl. 

lightly butter and flour your baking pan. 

lay your thinly sliced apples into your desired pattern. 

in the bowl of a stand mixer with the paddle attachment or in a large bowl with a hand mixer, combine the eggs, oil, flour and vanilla. 

when well combined, slowly pour in the dry ingredients till just combined. 

pour in the cubed apples and mix till just combined. about 1 minute. 

pour the batter into the pan and bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean. 

allow the cake to cool on a rack for a few minutes before turning the cake out onto the rack to continue cooling.

if you are going to drizzle with salted caramel, allow the cake to cool to room temperature before drizzling. 

if you are not using the caramel, you can allow it to cool slightly and serve the cake warm. ice cream on top wouldn't be awful either. 

xo, a

apple spice cake
serves: 8
prep time: 20 minutes
bake time: 30 minutes
total time: 50 minutes
ingredients: 1.5 cup all purpose flour. .5 tsp baking soda. .5 tsp salt. .5 tbs cinnamon. .25 tsp nutmeg. 1 honey crisp apple (gala, pink ladies will also work), thinly slice just enough to cover the bottom of a 9 inch pan (about 25-28 slices) and cube the rest. .66 cup vegetable oil. 1 cup sugar. 2 large eggs. .5 tsp vanilla. 9 inch baking pan. 1 tbs soft butter + 1 extra tbs flour for baking pan. salted caramel for drizzle (optional). vanilla ice cream (optional).
start by preheating your oven to 350 degrees f.
lightly butter and flour your baking pan. lay your thinly sliced apples into your desired pattern. sift he flour, baking powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon together into a medium bowl.
in the bowl of a stand mixer with the paddle attachment or in a large bowl with a hand mixer, combine the eggs, oil, flour and vanilla.
when well combined, slowly pour in the dry ingredients till just combined.
pour in the cubed apples and mix till just combined. about 1 minute.
pour the batter into the pan and bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean. allow the cake to cool on a rack for a few minutes before turning the cake out onto the rack to continue cooling. if you are going to drizzle with salted caramel, allow the cake to cool to room temperature before drizzling. if you are not using the caramel, you can allow it to cool slightly and serve the cake warm. ice cream on top wouldn't be awful either.

as previously expressed, i have kumquats coming out of my ears. but, i'm kind of loving it. it has me hyper focused on one ingredient and figuring out all the wonderful things i can do with that ingredient. 

plus, if you haven't noticed, they are really freaking adorable. 

so i'm getting very creative with kumquats. kumquat squares. kumquat jam. kumquat cocktails. 

but my favorite so far has been these lavender + kumquat cupcakes. 

one of the women i work with at one of my yoga studios and her friends bought a whole lavender plant when they made my lemon + lavender cake and were so sweet to give me the plant when they were done. and i've absolutely fallen in love with it. lavender has proven to be an amazing compliment to the tart and sweet kumquats and together they made a scrumptious cupcake.

lavender + kumquat cupcakes
serving size: 18 cupcakes
prep time: 10 min
bake time: 15-20 min
total time with frosting: 1.5hrs
ingredients: 2 cups flour. 2 tsp baking powder. .5 tsp salt. .5 cup shortening. 2 eggs. 1.5 cups sugar. 1 tbs diced kumquat (about 2 kumquats). 1 tsp lavender leaves, minced. 1 tsp lavender flowers, minced. .75 cups buttermilk. .5 cups whole milk .5 tsp vanilla extract. .5tsp almond extract. 

preheat your oven to 350 f. with a mixer or in the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the sugar and shortening.

while the shortening and sugar are being worked, combine the extracts, kumquats and lavender in a small bowl. 

with the mixer on a medium speed, add in the eggs until just combined. then add in the kumquat, lavender, extract mixture. 

still on medium, pour in the milk and buttermilk and mix till smooth. 

with the mixer on a slow speed add in the dry ingredients until just combined. 

spoon the mixture into a large ziplock or piping bag. 

into prepared cupcake pans, add 2-3 tbs batter to each pan. 

bake until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean. about 15 to 20 minutes
allow to cool completely.
frost with cream cheese frosting and serve. 

xo, a

lavender + kumquat cupcakes
serving size: 18 cupcakes
prep time: 10 min
bake time: 15-20 min
total time with frosting: 1.5hrs
ingredients: 2 cups flour. 2 tsp baking powder. .5 tsp salt. .5 cup shortening. 2 eggs. 1.5 cups sugar. 1 tbs diced kumquat (about 2 kumquats). 1 tsp lavender leaves, minced. 1 tsp lavender flowers, minced. 75 cups buttermilk. .5 cups whole milk .5 tsp vanilla extract. .5tsp almond extract.
preheat your oven to 350 f. with a mixer or in the bowl of a stand mixer, cream together the sugar and shortening.
while the shortening and sugar are being worked, combine the extracts, kumquats and lavender in a small bowl.
with the mixer on a medium speed, add in the eggs until just combined. then add in the kumquat, lavender, extract mixture.
still on medium, pour in the milk and buttermilk and mix till smooth.
with the mixer on a slow speed add in the dry ingredients until just combined.
spoon the mixture into a large ziplock or piping bag.
into prepared cupcake pans, add 2-3 tbs batter to each pan.
bake until a toothpick comes out of the cake clean. about 15 to 20 minutes
allow to cool completely.
frost with cream cheese frosting and serve.