life really is a roller coaster. the older i get, the more it feels like every day is just a constant flow of life, death and all the little joys and traumas in between. after my weekend away, i had a wonderfully upbeat blog post prepped for today. and then the last forty-eight hours happened.
this weekend was an amazing emotional high. i spent friday through early sunday morning in a studio casita in the ojai valley with some of my best girls. we had come together to celebrate a birthday, but more than that, we came together to escape. each in our own way. there were tears and belly laughs. moments of joy and revelation and moments of truth and sorrow. there is a special way that women can express themselves and truly connect. especially some that have known each other for a baker's dozen years and grown up together.

after leaving my much needed therapy weekend, i headed home to deliver a cake for a baby shower and attend a memorial for a dear friends mom. on my road trip home, i learned of the birth of one of my clients first child. basically i was raw with emotion by sunday night. i waited up till the last hours of sunday night to see my husband when he came home from work. and together, we watched as the first reports of the tragic massacre in las vegas came through. yesterday was a shockingly dull day. numb really. we woke up to crazy numbers of casualties and injuries. when we went to bed, there were only two reported fatalities and fifty injured. the morning was spent just soaking in the crazy and trying to control what i can control (i trimmed the passion fruit plant for hours). and then... tom petty died. what. the. fuck.
that is when i just threw up my hands and said fuck it. life was just kicking our asses yesterday.

i knew i had to go teach yoga and it seemed like such a daunting task. so i thought about what i could say to people, to myself, so we could get through it together. i decided that the only thing i could say was that in the face of all that was going on, all the crazy the world was throwing at us, the only thing we could really do was refocus our energies on ourselves. we had to take a moment to find some calm, regroup, and mourn a bit before we could get back out there and figure out how to make things better. sometimes, you just need a minute. so we took a couple minutes, turned up the music and did the work.

and today, i got up and did the exact same. took a minute, turned it up and did the work. because that is all i can do. so, even though things are a bit dark right now, i'm sharing something light and bright and tasty. there is no point in suffering. take a minute, turn it up and make these delicious bars to share with those you love. or strangers. you do you.

mascarpone + fig bars
prep time: 5 minutes
bake time: 10 minutes
active time: 30 minutes
total time: 45 minutes
ingredients: 1 cups flour. 1 cup finely chopped pecans (i blend mine up in a food processor). .5 cup butter (1 stick), melted. .25 cup brown sugar. 1 pinch kosher salt. 1 lb mascarpone cheese, softened. 8 oz cream cheese, softened. 1 cup sugar. 3 eggs. 1 tsp vanilla extract. 8-10 figs, sliced thin. 9 x 13 inch baking dish. parchment paper.

start by preheating the oven to 350 degrees f. in a bowl, combine the pecans, flour, brown sugar, salt and the melted butter. 

roughly combine and then pour the crust onto the parchment lined baking dish. 

use your hands or the back of a measuring cup to press the crust to cover the bottom of the pan. bake the crust for 10-12 minutes till starting go brown. 

while the crust is baking, combine the mascarpone, cream cheese and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer with a whisk attachment. mix on medium speed till light and fluffy. 3-5 minutes. 

add in one egg at a time. letting each egg combine completely before adding in the next. 2-3 minutes. 

add in the vanilla extract just until combined. 

pour the mascarpone filling into the baking pan over the crust.

use a spatula or small butter knife to smooth out the filling. 

place your figs on top in desire pattern. 

bake till just set, 18-20 minutes. allow to cool. for really easy slicing into bars, freeze till hard and slice. enjoy or store in a airtight container for up to two weeks.

xo, a

mascarpone + fig bars
prep time: 5 minutes
bake time: 10 minutes
active time: 30 minutes
total time: 45 minutes
ingredients: 1 cups flour. 1 cup finely chopped pecans (i blend mine up in a food processor). .5 cup butter (1 stick), melted. .25 cup brown sugar. 1 pinch kosher salt. 1 lb mascarpone cheese, softened. 8 oz cream cheese, softened. 1 cup sugar. 3 eggs. 1 tsp vanilla extract. 8-10 figs, sliced thin. 9 x 13 inch baking dish. parchment paper.

start by preheating the oven to 350 degrees f. in a bowl, combine the pecans, flour, brown sugar, salt and the melted butter. roughly combine and then pour the crust onto the parchment lined baking dish. use your hands or the back of a measuring cup to press the crust to cover the bottom of the pan. bake the crust for 10-12 minutes till starting go brown. while the crust is baking, combine the mascarpone, cream cheese and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer with a whisk attachment. mix on medium speed till light and fluffy. 3-5 minutes. add in one egg at a time. letting each egg combine completely before adding in the next. 2-3 minutes. add in the vanilla extract just until combined. pour the mascarpone filling into the baking pan over the crust. use a spatula or small butter knife to smooth out the filling. place your figs on top in desire pattern. bake till just set, 18-20 minutes. allow to cool. for really easy slicing into bars, freeze till hard and slice. enjoy or store in a airtight container for up to two weeks.