life really is a roller coaster. the older i get, the more it feels like every day is just a constant flow of life, death and all the little joys and traumas in between. after my weekend away, i had a wonderfully upbeat blog post prepped for today. and then the last forty-eight hours happened.
this weekend was an amazing emotional high. i spent friday through early sunday morning in a studio casita in the ojai valley with some of my best girls. we had come together to celebrate a birthday, but more than that, we came together to escape. each in our own way. there were tears and belly laughs. moments of joy and revelation and moments of truth and sorrow. there is a special way that women can express themselves and truly connect. especially some that have known each other for a baker's dozen years and grown up together.

after leaving my much needed therapy weekend, i headed home to deliver a cake for a baby shower and attend a memorial for a dear friends mom. on my road trip home, i learned of the birth of one of my clients first child. basically i was raw with emotion by sunday night. i waited up till the last hours of sunday night to see my husband when he came home from work. and together, we watched as the first reports of the tragic massacre in las vegas came through. yesterday was a shockingly dull day. numb really. we woke up to crazy numbers of casualties and injuries. when we went to bed, there were only two reported fatalities and fifty injured. the morning was spent just soaking in the crazy and trying to control what i can control (i trimmed the passion fruit plant for hours). and then... tom petty died. what. the. fuck.
that is when i just threw up my hands and said fuck it. life was just kicking our asses yesterday.

i knew i had to go teach yoga and it seemed like such a daunting task. so i thought about what i could say to people, to myself, so we could get through it together. i decided that the only thing i could say was that in the face of all that was going on, all the crazy the world was throwing at us, the only thing we could really do was refocus our energies on ourselves. we had to take a moment to find some calm, regroup, and mourn a bit before we could get back out there and figure out how to make things better. sometimes, you just need a minute. so we took a couple minutes, turned up the music and did the work.

and today, i got up and did the exact same. took a minute, turned it up and did the work. because that is all i can do. so, even though things are a bit dark right now, i'm sharing something light and bright and tasty. there is no point in suffering. take a minute, turn it up and make these delicious bars to share with those you love. or strangers. you do you.

mascarpone + fig bars
prep time: 5 minutes
bake time: 10 minutes
active time: 30 minutes
total time: 45 minutes
ingredients: 1 cups flour. 1 cup finely chopped pecans (i blend mine up in a food processor). .5 cup butter (1 stick), melted. .25 cup brown sugar. 1 pinch kosher salt. 1 lb mascarpone cheese, softened. 8 oz cream cheese, softened. 1 cup sugar. 3 eggs. 1 tsp vanilla extract. 8-10 figs, sliced thin. 9 x 13 inch baking dish. parchment paper.

start by preheating the oven to 350 degrees f. in a bowl, combine the pecans, flour, brown sugar, salt and the melted butter. 

roughly combine and then pour the crust onto the parchment lined baking dish. 

use your hands or the back of a measuring cup to press the crust to cover the bottom of the pan. bake the crust for 10-12 minutes till starting go brown. 

while the crust is baking, combine the mascarpone, cream cheese and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer with a whisk attachment. mix on medium speed till light and fluffy. 3-5 minutes. 

add in one egg at a time. letting each egg combine completely before adding in the next. 2-3 minutes. 

add in the vanilla extract just until combined. 

pour the mascarpone filling into the baking pan over the crust.

use a spatula or small butter knife to smooth out the filling. 

place your figs on top in desire pattern. 

bake till just set, 18-20 minutes. allow to cool. for really easy slicing into bars, freeze till hard and slice. enjoy or store in a airtight container for up to two weeks.

xo, a

mascarpone + fig bars
prep time: 5 minutes
bake time: 10 minutes
active time: 30 minutes
total time: 45 minutes
ingredients: 1 cups flour. 1 cup finely chopped pecans (i blend mine up in a food processor). .5 cup butter (1 stick), melted. .25 cup brown sugar. 1 pinch kosher salt. 1 lb mascarpone cheese, softened. 8 oz cream cheese, softened. 1 cup sugar. 3 eggs. 1 tsp vanilla extract. 8-10 figs, sliced thin. 9 x 13 inch baking dish. parchment paper.

start by preheating the oven to 350 degrees f. in a bowl, combine the pecans, flour, brown sugar, salt and the melted butter. roughly combine and then pour the crust onto the parchment lined baking dish. use your hands or the back of a measuring cup to press the crust to cover the bottom of the pan. bake the crust for 10-12 minutes till starting go brown. while the crust is baking, combine the mascarpone, cream cheese and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer with a whisk attachment. mix on medium speed till light and fluffy. 3-5 minutes. add in one egg at a time. letting each egg combine completely before adding in the next. 2-3 minutes. add in the vanilla extract just until combined. pour the mascarpone filling into the baking pan over the crust. use a spatula or small butter knife to smooth out the filling. place your figs on top in desire pattern. bake till just set, 18-20 minutes. allow to cool. for really easy slicing into bars, freeze till hard and slice. enjoy or store in a airtight container for up to two weeks.

when i was little, i NEVER had cake for my birthday. no no, i was not a deprived child. i just didn't like cake. i always asked for strawberry pie with whipped cream instead. cake in my mind meant something dry, lacking flavor with some very strange, artificial tasting frosting and usually some really crunchy sugar confetti that looked like it had been sitting on the shelf longer than i had been alive. so it is no wonder at all that i requested pie. 

somewhere along the way, i stored carrot cake into a mental file of things i didn't like. now as a cook, i realize that my list of foods i didn't like was actually a list of foods i had that weren't cooked well. as a kid, i had convinced myself lamb was gross because the only lamb i had ever eaten was cooked till it was fifty shads of grey and served with mint jelly. i won't tell you who ruined it for me (cough. grandma.). anyway, you get the picture. carrot cake had made its way to my naughty list. 

but man oh man, was i a fool. now that my cake business has picked up, i have started receiving heaps of requests for carrot cake. in the beginning, being that i thought i didn't care for carrot cake, i would steer clients in the direction of lemon or classic chocolate. but when a weeding client's favorite was carrot, i knew i had to get over my likes and dislikes and make a damn good carrot cake. so i went to my best baking resource. that same lamb cooking grandmother. all my earliest memories of baking are with her and most of my classic recipes are hers, so i knew she would have a winner. and man was i right!

carrot cake serves: 8-10
prep time: 10 minutes
active time: 5 minutes
baking time: 30-40 minutes
cooling + assembly time: 1 hour
total time: 2 hours
ingredients: 2 cups all purpose flour. 2 cups sugar. 1.25 cups vegetable oil. 4 eggs. 2 tsp baking powder. 1 tsp baking soda. 2 tsp cinnamon. 1 tsp allspice. 1 tsp kosher salt. 3 cups grated heirloom carrots (standard orange also work great if that is what you have). stand mixer with paddle attachment or hand blender. baking pans (either 2 8 inch rounds, 3 6 inch rounds or a 9 x 13). parchment for the bottom of your pans. nonstick cooking spray. cream cheese frosting for serving.

start by preheating the oven to 325 degrees f. in the bowl of your stand mixer or in a large bowl, combine the sugar and oil. mix until well combined. about 1-2 minutes. mix together your dry ingredients in a bowl. 

with the mixer on slow add in half of your dry ingredient followed by two of your eggs. 

when well combined, add in the rest of the dry ingredients and the remaining eggs. 

when well combined, start to add in your carrots. 

add in about half until combined and then pour in the rest. 

spray your baking pans and line them with parchment paper. 

pour your batter equally into the pans you are using. 

bake for 30-40 minutes, until a toothpick comes out of the center of each layer clean. 

remove the baking pans from the oven onto a cooling rack and allow them to cool to room temperature. remove the baking pans from the oven onto a cooling rack and allow them to cool to room temperature. 

use cream cheese frosting to frost your cake and serve or store in a cool place until time to serve. you can store any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week. 

xo, a
carrot cake
serves: 8-10
prep time: 10 minutes
active time: 5 minutes
baking time: 30-40 minutes
cooling + assembly time: 1 hour total time: 2 hours
ingredients: 2 cups all purpose flour. 2 cups sugar. 1.25 cups vegetable oil. 4 eggs. 2 tsp baking powder. 1 tsp baking soda. 2 tsp cinnamon. 1 tsp allspice. 1 tsp kosher salt. 3 cups grated heirloom carrots (standard orange also work great if that is what you have). stand mixer with paddle attachment or hand blender. baking pans (either 2 8 inch rounds, 3 6 inch rounds or a 9 x 13). parchment for the bottom of your pans. nonstick cooking spray. cream cheese frosting for serving.  2 tsp cinnamon. 1 tsp allspice. 1 tsp kosher salt. 3 cups grated heirloom carrots (standard orange also work great if that is what you have). stand mixer with paddle attachment or hand blender. baking pans (either 2 8 inch rounds, 3 6 inch rounds or a 9 x 13). parchment for the bottom of your pans. nonstick cooking spray. cream cheese frosting for serving.
start by preheating the oven to 325 degrees f. in the bowl of your stand mixer or in a large bowl, combine the sugar and oil. mix until well combined. about 1-2 minutes.mix together your dry ingredients in a bowl. with the mixer on slow add in half of your dry ingredient followed by two of your eggs. when well combined, add in the rest of the dry ingredients and the remaining eggs. when well combined, start to add in your carrots. add in about half until combined and then pour in the rest. spray your baking pans and line them with parchment paper. pour your batter equally into the pans you are using. bake for 30-40 minutes, until a toothpick comes out of the center of each layer clean. remove the baking pans from the oven onto a cooling rack and allow them to cool to room temperature. use cream cheese frosting to frost your cake and serve or store in a cool place until time to serve. you can store any leftovers in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week.